Lord of the Vagina

So I just watched the documentary ‘Karmageddon” and honestly I feel rather betrayed and ashamed of myself. It was a documentary following a famous spiritual leader and Kirtan performer. When I heard about this I immediately became eager to watch it as I have for years now been a fan of this self proclaimed Guru. I have met wit him in person, read his book and even purchased one of his cds which till recently was still in my usual rotation of music. I always knew he was a little off but always took it for what it was since he like myself was a follower of the goddess Kali. I know from experience how Kali will test one’s sanity and push their mental reality to the edge before destroying it to be made whole again. I was not at all prepared for what I saw.

When you first meet this man you see what appears to be a 6 and a half foot tall hippie burnout in his 70s with dreads to his waist wearing eccentric clothes and talking about his travels through India as a Sadhu and finding god as a “functioning Schizophrenic”. He appeared to me as the perfect teacher as not only did we worship the same goddess but had some of the same past as well as limitations. He like myself had become jaded with the world at a young age, but unlike myself he did something about it and left everything to find peace in India.

Before I met him I did find some things off putting bout his behavior and ethics but dismissed much of it as hearsay and typical yoga shit-stirring. A quick side note about yoga shit-stirring to those not familiar, yoga practitioners pretty much hate and bad mouth everyone not immediately present for any reason. The shit-stirring is part of the superiority complex of yoga and trust fund hippies. Anyways back to the guru, I knew from others that he was a renowned philanderer at one time even having 2 wives. I let this go because it is not my place to judge based on American ethics. I also know that he took his current wife who is about 40 years his junior  from another Kirtan performer and married her. Once again I don’t know the whole story so I stayed out of it.

When I saw him perform I knew something was up because he sat in a room with the door closed until the performance began and then immediately returned to his dressing room after the show.  This was not some huge venue but rather a yoga school containing about 20 people. I was honestly annoyed I did not get to speak or even have any questions fielded since he was what I considered a teacher at the time and also because i payed 50 dollars to see him. So I left the event feeling rather insecure in my veneration of this man because of his apparent lack of interest and also buy his narcissistic rambling between songs.

I became even more annoyed when I checked his website and saw not only his several thousand dollar retreats in the Caribbean that you could attend but also that his website was switching to a monthly subscription where you would have to pay to listen to videos of him speaking. By this time I was pretty much done but still held onto a shred of hope that i was mistaken, then I saw Karmageddon.

The video follows him around through New York City where he lives and shows him doing some pretty awful things. In the film he is shown trying to seduce a man’s wife by intentionally exposing himself. Most of what comes out of his mouth is shocking and to me at least pretty funny since all he does is graphically talk about sex. He spends several minutes talking about how he loves the 69 position and the smell of wet “pussy”. He even goes so far as to say his spiritual  name means “Lord of the Vagina” and that he worships women in their vagina, another man interviewed later says that his given spiritual name actually means servant of god. I admittedly did laugh when he tried to seduce a young women to come on tour with him for sex and later tried tocurse her for refusing his advances. As a factory worker I am used to this and found it funny but it was not what I expected from this man. Several times he actually cat calls to women and at one time screams on a New York street “Look at those tits!”, again I laughed but inside was feeling a little betrayed especially when he talked about his experience with a 13 year old prostitute in Egypt.

I think that my biggest issue however was that he was shown on several occasions stealing. To me being a pervert is no big deal, some people just are what they are but being a thief when you are significantly wealthy is unacceptable. I am also referring to actual stealing not taking advantage of others by the way.

The argument can be made though that he is merely living his life as a free soul which is not bound by our societal norm, after all Nietzsche once said “One must still have chaos within to give birth to a dancing star” . After all as a Kali worshiper he should be a whirling tornado of chaos wherever he goes, but to me this is a cop out allowing a narcissistic sociopath to continue draining others for a free ride through life.

I first walked away from this documentary annoyed but while writing this I realized that maybe he taught me one final lesson. That lesson was to stay true to my left hand path and stay resolved in my belief that all of man is folly. Venerate no man over yourself and your mind because only you can save yourself. Putting power and hope in others will only allow them to stand on your shoulders pressing you deeper down drowning in a sea of incompetence and weakness. Several years ago I vowed that I would take no mortal on as a teacher and seeing what little I clung to stripped and laid bare before me only strengthened my resolve. That is my true path, the path of experience and self knowledge.

Chakra analysis using western totemic shamanism

I recently learned of a new totem meditation combining eastern and western Shamanic practices. The theory behind the practice is to go through each of the seven major chakras individually and allow an animal to visualize representing the health and nature of the chakra. I found that the most useful way of interpreting the animals that appear was not to look them up in a book but rather to sit and think about what each animal means to you and your own subconscious. First though a little bit about each of the seven major chakras (thank you http://www.timewheel.net for the good descriptions).

1. Muladhara  (root sound is  Lam)                                                                                                                                                  Located at the end of the spine between the anus and sex organs, the first chakra or root chakra is responsible for security and survival. Known as Muladhara, the root chakra is represented by the color red. The root chakra, when unbalanced can bring feelings of fear, and insecurity. If energies are most prominent in the Muladhara, food and sleep will be the most important factors in your life. A healthy root chakra will provide initiates with a grounded state, instilling security, loyalty, and self acceptance.

2. Svadisthana (root sound is Vam)
Seated in the sexual organs and kidneys/bladder, the second chakra or Svadisthana is responsible for creativity and reproduction. Represented by the color orange, Svadisthana is the source of creative impulse, both artistically and reproductively. If the second chakra is unbalanced, initiates may be experiencing problems with sexual organs or the kidneys and may exhibit un-empathetic emotions, guilt, lack of boundaries, and irresponsible relationship habits. When balance is returned to Svadisthana, initiates may channel a healthy attitude and level of commitment towards sexual functions, relationships, and creativity. Those with energy dominant in Svadisthana will be seekers of pleasure.

3.Manipura (root sound is Ram)
The third chakra is known as the solar plexus chakra or, Manipura. Manipura governs action and balance, and is located at the navel point or solar plexus. Being represented by the hue of yellow, Manipura is the center of personal power and commitment, where the strength for inner balance, inspiration, and good health can be channeled, when the chakra is balanced. The solar plexus chakra corresponds to organs of sustainability like the liver, gall bladder, spleen, adrenal glands, pancreas, & digestive organs, the solar plexus chakra when unbalanced will manifest emotions of anger, greed, shame, or despair. Those with energy prominent in Manipura will be people of action, with a great desire to achieve.

4 .Anahata (root sound is yam)
The chakra of love and compassion is known as the heart chakra or Anahata. The heart chakra is located in the middle of the chest on the breast bone at the level of the nipples, and is represented by the color green. A healthy heart chakra will manifest itself through compassion; kindness; forgiveness; service; and love. Signs of an unbalanced heart chakra include grief, attachment, fear of rejection, helper syndrome, or heartlessness. Those with energy dominant in the Anahata will be a creator, and desire to create more than other things.

5.Vishuddha (root sound is ham)
The fifth chakra which is associated with the throat and thyroid, is the center for hearing and speaking the truth. Known as the throat chakra, Vishuddha is the center for truth, language, knowledge and the ability to communicate. The throat chakra is represented by light blue color. An unbalanced throat chakra will manifest itself in lethargy, weakness in expression, shyness, vocalization issues, insecurity, fear of others opinions and judgements. A balanced Vishuddha will bring initiates authenticity, inspiration, self expression and teaching.

6. Ajna (root sound is ohm)
Located between the eyebrows, the sixth chakra or Third Eye is the chakra of intuition, wisdom and identity and is located at the center of the brain, in the pineal gland. Represented by the color indigo, the Third Eye, when awakened and active will become the center of intuition and clairvoyance. Initiates will experience ease of concentration and determination, and will unlock powers of projection. Ones purpose will be will be revealed fully with an awakened third eye. Signs of a closed or unbalanced Third Eye include confusion, depression, and over-intellectualization.

7. Sahasrara (root sound is silence)
The seventh chakra is known as the crown chakra, or Sahasrara. Represented by the color violet, the crown chakra has been referred to as the chakra of humility and vastness. Sahasrara is located at the top of the head. Known as the seat of the soul, the crown chakra is the connection with divinity and the entry point for higher consciousness where the higher self can incarnate into the body. When the crown chakra becomes active initiates may be able to understand our multidimensional nature and communicate with multidimensional beings. Typically as people age, their crown chakra closes with the onset of ego structures and “chitta”, otherwise known as mental chatter. When kundalini energy rises from the root chakra up the spine through the crown chakra, a full awakening may take place fully awakening the spirit within the body.

So those are the seven basic chakras that this meditation will be dealing with. The first step in this meditation is to become comfortable with feeling the chakras within yourself. I would recommend either sitting cross legged or lying down and starting from the root chakra try to breathe into it. What I mean by this is imagine your breath is like a breath stoking hot coals, every deep breath causes the energy center to glow it’s respective color. I also like to chant the root sound while visualizing the energizing of my chakra. From here you can repeat the sequence slowly working upwards through your chakras and breathing the energy into each center.  Visualize them however works best for you, some people prefer to imagine them as wheels spinning faster with every breath rather then coals being heated. The major point in beginning though is to slow your breathing and begin to let distractions fade away. If you are new to meditation spend as long as you need just learning to calm your mind. In many cases you may need to work on just calming and relaxing before you even get into the chakras, there is no shame in this at all. It is better to spend some extra time to get it right after all.

The next step after you feel comfortable with where the chakras are and are able to remember such things as the colors and the root words are to begin the meditation as normal but this time spend a little bit longer in each chakra. After you feel that you have sufficiently put enough energy into each chakra ask your guides or inner self to allow a spirit animal to appear and help you in your journey. Normally an animal will appear within the chakra, a very important detail is to let your mind stay open. If you just pick the most badass animals then you aren’t really acheiving anything besides daydreaming and playing around.

After you are done with the seven chakras and come back to basic consciousness the first thing to do is right down what animals you saw and where, also any special characteristics about them such as health and size. Go and get a drink of water or something and then come back and try to realize what each animal means to you and how it relates to the chakra involved. Don’t over think it, your sub conscious doesn’t always need to make sense. Once you get done this you can draw or create your very own personal totem pole with your respective animals stacked like the chakras (badass tattoo idea).

I saw the following animals

1.Muladhara, Here in my red chakra I saw a hyena.

2. Svadisthana, here in my orange chakra I saw an opossum.

3. Manipura, in my yellow chakra I saw a large orb weaver spider.

4. Anahata, in my green Chakra I saw an octopus.

5. Vishuddha, in my blue chakra I saw a coyote.

6. Ajna, in my third eye chakra I saw a cat.

7. Sahasrara, in this chakra I saw a bison.

I hope all of you will find this experience as interesting as I did and hopefully be able to learn more about yourselves from it. I didn’t go into the meanings of each animal because for one they are personal to me and another reason is because I do not want to taint your opinion of an animal in case it shows itself to you.

Namaste Asshole

There has been an issue in my local area which has become more prevalent over the past few years that can no longer be ignored. While the city of Reading Pennsylvania is largely a crime ridden slum we do have a nice area called West Reading. This small section of the city is full of trendy little shops and boutiques full of useless garbage such as a violin and antique picture frame store (I wish I was kidding). Now with any area like this come pretentious people, reading however has a special brand of hipster douche-bag known as a pseudo Hindu. These are the over-privileged house wives and trust fund babies who frequent the several yoga schools and vegan restaurants in the area all the while wearing their mala beads and claiming to be enlightened. This insult to the great mystical traditions of India need to stop and I am going to list of a few of the key points about Hinduism that I learned and hopefully educate somebody.

The first thing that we need to talk about is the hypocrisy of driving your gigantic suv to the yoga school and stepping out in your $200 yoga outfit and throwing down your “official made in India” yoga mat and beginning your class because it makes you feel spiritual. Once you get past the realization that both your outfit and yoga mat were made in third world sweat shops you should begin to realize how superficial the whole experience is. Congratulations you are now siting in a room with a bunch of rich white people and making a farce out of the beliefs and practices of a culture so that you can look better at the beach.

This guy thinks your 200 dollar yoga outfit is adorable and he one day hopes to be as enlightened as you

The true ruling class of the yoga twats are the people who pay thousands of dollars to go on a “pilgrimage” to India. I would almost have a respect for this except for the fact that they aren’t going into the streets of India to truly learn the mystic ways. They are staying at Indian resorts/spas and taking day trips to pre-approved gurus who are on the payroll of the travel agency. How many of these pilgrims actually live the experience and try to bathe in the Ganges the way true yogis do. I myself cannot imagine many of the people I have seen in the yoga community wading through corpses and meditating among the cremation pyres for a true insight. But be prepared when you talk to these people upon their return they will immediately burst into tears and gush over how powerful the experience was (especially if others are around). How truly spiritual to stay at an all-inclusive resort while right outside of your locked gates are children drinking sewer water and eating animal feces to survive.

Probably not on the resort approved list of teachers by the way this is a traditional worshiper of Shiva, notice the human skull at his feet

The hallmark however of these pathetic frauds is their strict vegan diets which are supposedly saving the planet. What they do not tell you and I know this from personal exposure is that this supposedly superior diet is only sustainable with a massive amount of added vitamins and supplements which are in reality more dangerous to a human body then fresh meat. Be prepared if you ever confront a vegan on this however for them to retort with “meat production is more hazardous to the environment because it uses x gallons of fuel to grow meat while vegetables only require a fraction of that”. That would be a valid point if everyone was ate local grown food, but when vegans are having fruit shipped in year round from around the world I am sure they are burning sever amounts of fossil fuels. This also doesn’t take into account the cost to manufacture and process your fake vegan foods. I am not even going to get into the fact that having people in a third world country starving because all of their arable soil is used to feed yoga egos is probably not very good Karma.

more Shiva followers being pure vegans haha

The last section is just going to be on a few of the Hindu gods whom these idiots all claim to follow despite never extending their spirituality beyond a trendy shirt of their favorite god or goddess.

First lets talk about Shiva, he is pretty popular the yoga community loves to say OM NAMAH SHIVAH all of the time anyway. How could he be bad he is always meditating? He represents peace and kindness that everyone who meditates must feel. Ok so first off Shiva is the god of destruction and the dead, when he stops meditating and awakens he destroys the universe with lasers from his third eye (not making this up). The warrior series in yoga is named after him because it represents him raising a sword and then decapitating an enemy and finally places his head on a stake.

Krishna, the all time favorite god of the douchebags. Krishna worship became popular due to the Hare Krishna movement of the 60’s. The Hare krishna movement was about a bunch of hippies sitting around, smoking dope and not wanting to get a job simple as that, most true Hindus and Krishna monks in India consider it a disgrace. If you read the Bhagavad Gita which is the telling of Krishna’s tale you find out that contrary to the peaceful flute player he is often depicted as he was kind of a baddass. The Bhagavad Gita takes place during a war where Krishna with his army is telling a man named Arjuna that as a soldier it is his duty to kill and that he shouldn’t feel bad because it is the way of reality. In fact at one point he goes so far as to say that killing is good because it will help people get reincarnated and move on faster. Also besides being an unstoppable war machine he also has a harem and loves to drink. The truth of Krishna from the Bhagavad Gita actually reads more like a Conan the barbarian novel.

Ganesh is popular as he is an easily recognizable symbol that everyone will recognize thereby letting everyone on the street know how deep and spiritual you must be. The yoga phonies will even normally be able to tell you that Ganesh is the god of removing obstacles, what they don’t know however is that he does so with axes and is a raging elephant when angered who will destroy all objects in his path.  The traditional story of moon cycles involves Ganesh getting angry at the moon and killing it, thats right he killed the moon once. Also in case you were ever wondering why he has an elephant’s head, he wasn’t born that way but his father Shiva had to kill an elephant to replace the head he blew off with his laser eyes due to an argument.

Hanuman is the monkey god of Bravery and also a fucking war chieftain who carries a mace and leads an army of inter-dimensional apes known as Vanaras against an army of demons. He doesn’t use the mace to break open coconuts or anything stupid like that he uses that mace to murder demons.

I am only going to mention very little about Kali here because I have written so much about her already. Kali is the demon slaying, blood drinking goddess of darkness. She wears a skirt of human arms, a necklace of skulls and carries around severed heads. Most of her traditional worship involves meditating in cremation grounds and a blood sacrifice. She will utterly destroy your life to help you rebuild it as a better person. Most yoga people tend to stay away from her as she is less forgiving of people’s stupidity.

The gods of the Hindu pantheon as well as the Vedic culture is rich and complicated like all cultures. It may seem like I am merely being a jerk but the overall hypocrisy of the yoga community is beyond reproach and frankly these people need to start being called on it. The vedic gods and culture are wear my ancestors came from and this farce is a mockery of everything that they sought to build and create.